


flipside

by cheinsaw



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Post-Canon, Secret Relationship, Therapy, Virtual Reality, a lot of crying, rated as m to be safe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 18:31:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12894189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheinsaw/pseuds/cheinsaw
Summary: [HUGE ENDGAME V3 SPOILERS - virtual reality AU]Himiko awakes in a Team Danganronpa facility after the events of the game. What she doesn't expect is for Tenko to be there too.Life is worth living, Yumeno-san.





	flipside

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE PRINCESS
> 
> this is a huge au i've been developing. like it's bad. i have spreadsheets. i have so much for this damn au. enjoy!

Himiko wakes up in a lavender-colored room with her fingers trembling. The bedding smells unfamiliar, too starchy and clean, and she's certain she's never been here before. Hospital, her brain tells her. She probably collapsed again. And someone with dark eyes and hair would've brought her here, someone who'd be worried about her. Shuuichi, or Maki—

Shuuichi. Maki. Where did those names come from? It's on the tip of her tongue, Shuuichi, Maki, Kiibo, Tsumugi.

An explosion. A school. A girl. It all comes rushing back so suddenly Himiko thinks she might throw up.

"Good evening, Yumeno-san," the nurse at her bedside says. Himiko doesn't respond. "Congratulations on surviving Season 53 of Danganronpa."

It doesn't feel like a victory. She'd rather be dead.

"Do you feel well enough to go meet up with the rest of the cast?"

Himiko silently considers it. She is a bit curious about Maki and Shuuichi's conditions. Are they in the same hospital? "Nnngh."

The nurse is patient with her, at least. "Chabashira-san has been asking for you."

"Tenko?" Himiko's heart stops. Her skin prickles, as if she's been dropped into an ice bath. Tenko's dead. Tenko is dead and Himiko watched her die with her own eyes. Either Himiko's died somehow too, or…

"Yes, Chabashira-san and Yonaga-san. Would you want to go see them?"

"I—I don't… get it…"

"Ah, please stay calm and I'll explain, okay? Danganronpa is carried out in a virtual reality program, so no harm is done to your body while still maintaining a realistic simulation of a killi—"

Himiko can't control herself. She screams. Fake. Fake. Fake. Of course it was all fake. It was for some sick entertainment, after all. Fake, fake and _disgusting_ —the image of the knife through Tenko's neck flashes in her mind, blood and guts and viscera all over the hydraulic press, Toujou falling, Akamatsu hanging lifeless, Iruma strangled with that awful helpless expression on her face. The memories assault her, only getting stronger and worse when she closes her eyes, and despite how hard she tries she can't make it stop.

Her screaming quickly gives way to tears, her throat raw and hurting. Disgusting, disgusting, it all makes her want to gouge out her eyes and claw at her skin— _anything_ , she'll do anything, as long as she doesn't have to live with this.

The nurse reaches for her hand, and Himiko is too weak to resist. It is calming, she supposes. She's soon able to make herself dwindle down to sniffles and soft hiccups.

"They're really all alive?" Himiko asks thickly after a long silence.

"I promise," the nurse says.

The nurse helps Himiko get to her feet, helps her move her arms and legs. It's hard to walk at first, but Himiko quickly regains her sense of balance. Soon she's walking (albeit unsteadily) down the hallway, out into a red-carpeted common room that definitely doesn't belong in an ordinary hospital. But Himiko barely even notices or cares, because in the room is every single one of her classmates. (All except one, that is, but she will notice the robot's absence later.) Shuuichi is talking to Akamatsu, Gonta is sobbing in front of a cowering Iruma. Maki is curled into herself at the back of the room, looking like she wants to disappear. And leaning against the wall, fidgeting with her hands, is the figure that's been haunting Himiko's dreams.

It's Tenko. She looks a bit different, and her long hair is down, but it's Tenko, and just seeing her makes Himiko's heart soar.

She starts running as fast as her wobbly legs will carry her, not caring in that moment about anyone else in the room—not Shuuichi, not Gonta, not Angie or Maki or Kaito or Iruma. "Tenko!"

"Yumeno-san," Tenko gasps. And then Himiko's in her arms, and she's being hugged so tight she can hardly breathe as she tilts her head up and mashes her lips against Tenko's. Tenko makes a noise of surprise, but Himiko's pretty sure she's kissing back.

"I missed you," Himiko says once they break apart, breathless in each other's arms.

"Tenko heard that Yumeno-san survived," Tenko replies. "Tenko missed Yumeno-san too."

Himiko's heart feels full, as if something in her chest is blossoming. It's so overwhelming, she can barely think of words, so instead of trying to speak she dives against Tenko, burying her head in Tenko's shoulder. It's the happiest she's felt in a long, long time.

 

The first group therapy session is soon after. A Team Danganronpa member dressed in soothing pastels asserts that communal living and therapy for two or three weeks following a successful season has been "proven to be the most effective". Effective for what, Himiko doesn't ask. She simply goes through the motions, taking her place in the circle and not saying much. The others mostly talk about their deaths—Amami says it felt "interesting, but unpleasant", Iruma starts to cry as soon as she tries to speak. Angie says she doesn't remember dying; one second she was reaching for a candle in an empty room, and the next she wasn't.

"Tenko is... at peace with her death," Tenko says when it's her turn. "She knew it was coming, she thinks. And… And, well… it meant that Yumeno-san got to live," she finishes quietly.

Himiko's eyes fill up with tears. It stings her heart. The words stay with her, long after the meeting's ended, haunting her well into the night.

Tenko is quickly whisked away to individual therapy, while Himiko is sent to the facility's cafeteria for dinner. (Not like she has much of an appetite, anyway, after sitting in a stuffy room for an hour and a half with Ouma and Shinguuji and Tenko, Tenko who died for her and doesn't regret a thing.) She sits next to Shuuichi and Akamatsu and picks at a plate of rice. The few grains she forces herself to swallow taste like cardboard.

Himiko gives up and throws her plate in the trash.

Team Danganronpa helpfully gave out room assignments during the group therapy meeting, explaining that the roommate pairs were chosen to be as neutral as possible: "No one you were close to in the game, no one you killed or who killed you," the aide says. Himiko is paired with Miu Iruma.

It could be worse. Iruma sniffles and sobs herself to sleep, while Himiko lies awake the whole night.

 

Himiko's first individual therapy session is the next morning, with a woman in a pink sweater. She has a plastic name tag adorned with heart stickers, reading _Dr. Atsuko_. Himiko doesn't trust her.

"Is there anything you want to talk about, just for starters?" she asks.

Himiko doesn't answer.

"Anything at all? Your life before the game? The game itself?"

Forty-five minutes pass in silence.

"I look forward to seeing you again tomorrow, Yumeno-san," Dr. Atsuko says. Without answering, Himiko picks herself up and walks right out the door.

 

Group therapy that day focuses on the three survivors and Tsumugi. Himiko spends most of the time dreading her turn to speak as Shuuichi goes on and on about feeling worthless, and missing Akamatsu and Kaito, and all the guilt he'd carried with him.

"Harukawa-san? Do you have anything you'd like to discuss?"

Maki tightens her fists. "Not really."

"Nothing at all?"

"I would rather die."

"Yumeno-san, then? Do you have anything to talk about…?"

Himiko doesn't know what to say. There's too much—she feels so much, and yet in her heart is an aching numbness, emptiness, darkness. She wishes she could draw up some of the power she'd felt during the third trial, when it felt so natural to scream at Shinguuji, and her emotions had bubbled up to the surface nice and clear and easy.

"I dunno," she says instead.

The rest of the meeting is a blur. Himiko zones out, drifting back and forth between trying to pay attention and finding it too difficult. Tsumugi's crying. Himiko can't bring herself to feel bad.

Finally the time is up, and the group leader dismisses everyone. Himiko makes a beeline for Tenko, not having had a chance to talk to her since those first few moments out of the VR system.

"Ah, Yumeno-san!" Tenko smiles, her eyes lighting up. "Did Yumeno-san want to talk to Tenko?"

"Yeah," Himiko says. "Has to be in private, though…"

"Tenko is all ears! She just—"

"Chabashira-san, don't forget your meeting with Dr. Yasaka," the group leader says.

"Oh, um, Tenko will be right there!" To Himiko, she smiles apologetically. "Tenko's sorry about this. During free time tonight, Tenko will come find Yumeno-san, okay?"

"Mmm. Okay."

But free time doesn't work out, of course. Himiko, having barely slept, winds up collapsing on an armchair in the common room. When she wakes up again, she's in her bed, and the sun has gone down. Something about the darkness makes Himiko think of the seance, of loose floorboards and Angie's blood and a heavy dog statue sitting atop Tenko's soon-to-be-lifeless body.

Himiko breathes shallowly, lying still. She is alive. She is alive. She is alive.

The third day in the postgame facility starts off with Ouma trying to kill himself at breakfast, right in front of everyone. It's futile, since the sharpest thing he could find was a plastic butter knife, but it's a sincere attempt nonetheless. Himiko curls into herself at the end of the table, nibbling at a pastry that tastes like nothing. She kind of wishes that if Ouma was going to do something like that, that he'd at least not make everyone else watch. And her body runs cold with how selfish that thought is; after all, one small push and Himiko could very well be in the same position. Any of them could be.

"Good morning, Yumeno-san," Dr. Atsuko says when Himiko shuffles into the office at a quarter past nine. "Did you sleep well?"

"No," Himiko says. It's the most truthful thing she's said to this woman (or any of the staff members, for that matter) so far.

"What's troubling you the most? Let's start from there."

"I don't wanna talk to you," Himiko says.

Her therapist looks sympathetic. "I understand, Yumeno-san. We hear that a lot with survivors, and sometimes with victims as well. You'd rather talk to someone who's been in the same situation as you, yes? A fellow survivor?"

"Haven't really talked to Angie or Tenko," Himiko says. "I'd rather… I mean, there's a lot I never got to talk to 'em about."

Dr. Atsuko nods. "After group today, it might be a good idea for you to meet up with Saihara-kun. His individual therapy is later in the afternoon, so you should have enough time to talk with him about what's bothering you."

Himiko frowns. Shuuichi is nearly always glued to Kaito or Akamatsu, so getting him alone is out of the question anyway, but it's the blatant dismissiveness that makes Himiko suspicious. "Are you trying to keep me away from Angie and Tenko?"

Dr. Atsuko pauses. "Please understand it's in your best interest. While same-gender relationships may develop within Danganronpa, in the real world they're simply not beneficial—"

"Why won't you let me see Angie, then?" Himiko interrupts. "Angie and I never…"

"Yonaga-san is suffering from severe psychological trauma, so her individual therapy is a bit more extensive—"

"We all are!" Himiko shouts. "We're all traumatized an' you're just making it worse! I want to see my friends!"

"Yumeno-san, please calm down—"

"No!"

"Yumeno-san!" Dr. Atsuko raising her voice for the first time shocks Himiko into silence. "No one is preventing you from seeing Chabashira-san or Yonaga-san. What we're trying to steer you away from is forming a romantic relationship with Chabashira-san. That sort of thing is… like I said, not in your best interest."

Himiko doesn't say anything.

"Please think of your future outside this facility."

"Fine," Himiko mumbles. It's not fine at all.

 

Himiko spaces out during group therapy yet again, her mind still stuck on Dr. Atsuko's words. Sometimes Kaito or Iruma will yell and startle Himiko, but her thoughts quickly wander away once more.

Kissing Tenko two days ago had been an impulse, but not one she regrets. Tenko had always been there for her in the game—always supported and encouraged her, as stifling as it was at first, always believed in her, always listened to her talk of magic with nothing but smiles and excitement. Tenko is something special, but Himiko hadn't realized that until it was too late.

Now, though, in the real world (Himiko hates to call it that, as if everyone's experiences in the game weren't real), they have time. And Himiko thinks that despite her therapist's warning, she would like to kiss Tenko again.

She looks at Tenko, sitting across the circle between Gonta and Hoshi. Her hair is braided today, tossed casually over her shoulder. She looks so real, so alive, so unlike the image that keeps flashing in Himiko's mind whenever she closes her eyes.

Tenko catches her staring, and returns a smile that squeezes Himiko's heart. And Himiko begins to form a plan.

After group and lunch, Himiko has some free time. She chooses to go to the common room with the plush red carpet, which seems much more agreeable than exercising outside. Still, she sits by the window, so she can eye Tenko and Kaito and Toujou playing some kind of three-person variation on basketball. She can't hear what they're saying, but at least all of them seem happy. (Or, well, as happy as anyone could be in this situation, with Ouma's suicide attempt still on nearly everyone's mind.)

Himiko surveys the area. Gonta's sitting across the table from her, sketching something in pencil. Akamatsu is on the opposite side of the room, sitting at the piano with Shuuichi, stumbling her way through a melody as he looks on. A Team Danganronpa aide is sitting at another table, watching over the four of them.

If only Himiko wasn't so detached. If only she was stronger, and could play basketball with the others. If only she could draw with Gonta, or play piano with Akamatsu, or find some way to entertain herself besides sitting alone and wishing for everything to be over.

She makes herself stand and walk down the hall to the bathrooms. The shower runs mild at best, but nevertheless Himiko shucks off her clothes and sits under the lukewarm water for a long, long time.

 

Dinner is uneventful once more. The curry is under-seasoned, the rice still tastes like cardboard. Himiko has stopped caring. She sits at her usual place at the end of the table and keeps to herself, finishing her food as quickly as she can. As soon as she's allowed to leave, she places her tray in the dish return and heads out of the cafeteria. It's time to put her plan into motion.

Himiko makes for the dorms, but instead of stopping at her own door, she tiptoes down to the end of the hall, looking for the room with the _Chabashira_ nameplate. There it is, next to the stairs— _Chabashira, Harukawa._ Himiko reaches out to slide the door open. And directly in her face on the other side is Maki.

"Ah."

"Ah!"

"I was just leaving anyway," Maki mutters to herself.

"Maki," Himiko says, panic rising in her throat. "Please, um, please don't tell on me."

Maki's eyes look hollow, distant. "Wouldn't dream of it." She brushes past Himiko as she walks out.

"Yumeno-san," Tenko says from inside. "Come in."

After sliding the door half shut (Team Danganronpa made it very clear that dormitory doors were to be kept open), Himiko awkwardly takes a seat on Tenko's bed. Now that she's alone with Tenko, all her ideas about what to say have gone out the window. "Um…"

"Yumeno-san wanted to talk, right?"

"Mmm…" Himiko shifts her weight, unsure of what to say. "Tenko… You… you still like me, right?" she blurts.

"Huh? O-o-of course," Tenko says, her cheeks turning pink. "Tenko likes Yumeno-san so much."

"Did your therapist tell you to stop?"

"Ah," Tenko breathes. "Well… that is… Tenko was told she should stop loving girls, since it… was an accident that she was given that trait, they said. But, um, Tenko thinks she was like this all along. Tenko loves girls so much, it can't be an accident." She looks down at her lap. "To tell the truth, Tenko still thinks Yumeno-san is… the girl of her dreams." She says this last part very quietly, but it makes Himiko's heart pound nonetheless.

"M' therapist told me to stay away from you 'cause they don't want us together in real life." Himiko frowns. "But I…" She pauses for a long moment, and Tenko waits patiently. "That's… something I want. To… to be with Tenko."

Tenko smiles so warmly, but Himiko can see the tears welling in her eyes. "Then as long as that's something Yumeno-san wants, Tenko wants it too."

"I just—'m scared. I keep thinkin' about finding you dead, and I…"

Tenko pulls Himiko into a tight hug, close enough that Himiko can feel Tenko's beating heart. "Tenko is right here," she murmurs, right next to Himiko's ear. "Tenko isn't leaving. Tenko won't leave unless that's what Yumeno-san wants."

"Call me Himiko."

"A-ah, Himiko-san—"

"Himiko."

"H... Himi...ko." Tenko pulls back from the hug with her face tinged slightly pink, but she doesn't look away like she did so often in the game. "Himiko."

"An' I want more kisses. Please," Himiko adds, hoping and praying with all her heart that now will not be the moment a Team Danganronpa aide walks by.

"Tenko can do that." Tenko's shaky hands move up to cup Himiko's face, and her lips move closer as Himiko leans in to close the distance. Tenko's mouth is warm, and gentle, and Himiko doesn't want to let her go.

"Tenko is scared too," Tenko says after a long moment of soft kisses. "Tenko is so scared, but… she thinks that the best way to go is just… Just keep moving forward, right? Keep living and keep going forward."

"Yeah," Himiko says, resting her head on Tenko's shoulder.

"Tenko thinks that… dying made her realize something." She takes a deep breath. "Tenko thinks life is worth living, no matter what things were like before the killing game. So when we get out of here, Tenko's going to get an apartment," Tenko says as she begins rubbing circles on Himiko's back. "Himiko can come too, if she wants."

"I want to," Himiko mumbles. "We can use my prize money."

"And Tenko wants to be an aikido instructor, and teach girls self-defense. And she wants to adopt a cat or a dog. Oh, or maybe a bunny? They're cute and small like Himiko." Tenko laughs softly.

"Mmm. We could get mice. Good for magic…"

"Yes! And, um… Tenko will always be there for Himiko. She promises. All Tenko wants is, is to wake up next to Himiko every day, and go to sleep with her at night." It sounds like Tenko is starting to cry, and Himiko can feel her own eyes beginning to water. "Tenko loves Himiko. She just… has to hide it until this is over."

"'S not fair," Himiko sniffles.

"Tenko knows," Tenko says quietly. "Tenko knows." Suddenly she perks up, and pushes Himiko off her lap. "Staff," she whispers, and Himiko's eyes widen.

A second later the room door slides open, and a girl who can't be much older than Himiko herself sticks her head in. "Is everything alright in here?" the aide asks.

"Oh, yes! Tenko was feeling lonely since Harukawa-san went for a walk, so Yumeno-san is keeping her company," Tenko lies smoothly. Himiko has to wonder when she got so good at that, because it certainly didn't happen during the killing game.

"Did Harukawa-san say where she was going?"

"Um, Tenko thinks she said something about meeting up with Momota-san and Saihara-san, but Tenko isn't sure."

The aide nods. "Thanks, Chabashira-san. And Yumeno-san, remember to get back to your room before lights out, okay?"

"I know," Himiko says.

With that, the aide is gone, and Tenko and Himiko share a look of incredulity. "Tenko can't believe that worked!"

"When'd you learn how to lie?"

"Tenko has been practicing! So she can cover for Harukawa-san," Tenko says proudly. "Since Harukawa-san goes out a lot."

"You're amazing," Himiko says, and moves closer to Tenko again.

Maki returns two hours later, slipping quietly through the door and immediately getting into her bed, fully clothed, without saying a word. "Does Himiko want to be walked back to her room?" Tenko asks.

"Mmm, yeah." As they both get to their feet, Himiko adds, "You should probably only call me Himiko when we're alone."

"Ah, good point! Tenko can remember that."

At Himiko's door, Tenko looks both ways, then quickly gives Himiko a kiss on the cheek. Face reddening, she squeaks, "Goodnight, Yumeno-san!"

"Night, Tenko," Himiko murmurs back. And once she's tucked herself in under her covers, she grins to herself, imagining the feeling of Tenko's lips on hers over and over. Soon enough, she'll be out of here. And she and Tenko will have a future worth living for.


End file.
